Laura vs. Vitameatavegamin


First posted to Facebook on Monday, March 10, 2008. Which, as you probably can tell by the post, was a really crappy day.

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My absolute favorite “I Love Lucy” show isVitameatavegamin. I can recite her entire monologue verbatim, just ask me sometime and the spiel will spew forth.

Those of you unfamiliar with the plot: Lucy auditions for a commercial. In the process of rehearsing, she consumes an entire bottle of the nutritional supplement. Most people on the set are unaware that Vitameatavegamin is 23% alcohol. Lucy is to say the line “And it’s so tasty, too!” followed by her taking a large tablespoon of the liquid and smiling. The stuff tastes TERRIBLE, therefore, Lucy must continue to practice her monologue and tasting and lying about the flavor….and getting tipsy.


I had a major life disappointment this past week. As I’ve searched for reasons and answers, I have asked advice from some and explained the situation to several others. Someoffered their experiential wisdom, both bad and good. I’ve switched back and forth from hurt person to amateur psychologist/therapist. I’ve gotten frustrated at those who seem to focus on my faults and appreciated those who met me in my pain. I want people to take my side, yet this is a circumstance where there really are no lines in the sand on which to side.

My urge is to find a quick answer so I can go back to putting on the happy face. In a sense, I’m used to practicing the commercial so that I can say, “I took my Vitameatavegamin and look at me now!” Yet what happens…Lucy is so determined to succeed that she continues to intoxicate herself and ruins the live broadcast. So in a sense, if I attempt to practice my commercial, give scripted answers and lying about the bad taste of life, I will end up intoxicated and unable to function in reality. “Well, that’s just my cross to bear. God will get me through it. Pain has a purpose. I guess I need this opportunity to grow and be shaped by God.”

Or the other option: honesty. Life tasted terrible last week and it still has a bad aftertaste. I don’t want to digest this or learn from it. I don’t like that others’ lives are seeming to make sense while mine would be the last one picked on “This is Your Life.” I am in pain that my plans were changed. I wanted life now to be what I expected three weeks ago. But within me is a calling to not give up; I need to live and not just exist. Yet the human answers to living only trap me in existing. So in effect, I’m not praying for patience or pain relief. I’m praying that I will remember how to forgive, see truth, live and not even look at the bottle of Vitameatavegamin.

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