A 6 Hour Exploration in Online Dating

Facebook Wednesday, August 13, 2008. I’m so glad that year is well beyond me.

As promised earlier this week, I will be happy to give my slant towards online dating. Here was my first post which caused a firestorm of comments like I had never seen. I’m tempted to copy them, as they would make for a good discussion!

Most of my close and casual acquaintances know that if God provided a wonderful man for my life, I would be happy to quit making decisions about my career path and become a homemaker and mom. If you don’t know this, where have you been? However, as you can see by my status, God has not deemed that marriage and a family of my own is for this season in my life.

The picture my mom chose for my profile. Come and get me.

On Monday, I was talking to my mom about the events of my current life and the past year or so. She likes to hint, often, that I should “hop on eHarmony, just to see.” Although this method has been successful for 2 of my mom’s siblings and a few others of my acquaintance, I find the online dating world deceiving, in fact disgusting. I’m supposed to condense myself into a few paragraphs to sound “interesting” while other available men do the same. And posting a picture can never hurt. Because lining up pictures of men while sifting through their personal drabble has always been the preferred method of the ages for finding a mate.

A few months ago, I thought I found a secret weapon…the moral demise of eHarmony. Ha ha! I could now say something besides, “I don’t like cyber dating.” The Mecca of Online Dating services was no longer revered! I had an out! Not to be deterred, during our conversation yesterday, my mom decides to grab my laptop, Google “Christian Online Dating,” click the first one at the top and create an account for me. I protest lightly only because my parents do hold the trump card at this point: they are allowing me a roof over my head for free. Thus, I decide to amuse my mom so she can see my perspective of the online world, and really, can you stop a mom on a mission?

After 5 minutes of browsing, she leaves me to sift through the pages of men who somewhat match my profile. After 2 minutes she comments that my face looks like I’m eating garlic. Well, that wasn’t too far off. For some, basic spelling and grammar was elusive of their talents while others posted a photo where they were trying to be GQ man, only showing a side profile or next to a girl. Due to my recent religious inquiries, I don’t fit in either Evangelical or Orthodox categories, which causes a strain all on its own. What puzzles me mostly is this site gears itself towards “Christians,” yet the way you make first contact is to send a “flirt” message! Doesn’t that go against everything my Sunday school teachers ranted about over the years? Wasn’t I preached the virtue of Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage? A match made solely on character and service, not looks and accomplishments.

I had to leave the computer before I could delete my account. So later that evening, I check my email and find I have a message waiting for me at the website. Yep, someone I have never met thinks I have a chance to be Miss Right based on a few questions and paragraphs. BUT to see the captivating words from prince charming that await me, I have to promise a monthly subscription. To my mom, I’m now able to say, “Well, the reality of online dating is having to pay for it.” I delete my profile.

“Okay, Google ‘free Christian dating’ and see what you find.” Oh mother, I know you love me, but there would have to be a major change for me to sign up for online dating (without your assistance).


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  1. Trackback: Round 3 « tallrayofsunshine


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