Reconciliation


I love eating pie for breakfast. Pumpkin pie with (real) cranberry sauce. My whipped cream was, sadly, non-existent, and I love cranberry sauce. I highly recommend it for those of you who don’t have access to real whipped cream. By the way, Cool Whip and/or Dream Whip does not exist in my world. Any recipe that calls for Cool Whip has an instant substitute of whipped cream. Period.

There were two pies baked on Wednesday at work, and I decided that my roommate needed to have pie for breakfast on Thursday. My boss agreed, and I left with a lovely 10-inch pumpkin pie and in just enough time to be timely late for the Akathist of Thanksgiving. Beautiful service and what a reminder that all of creation sings praise to God’s Glory.

After the service, I chatted briefly with a friend who asked if I had some extra time. I was thrilled for the opportunity to chat, and I had pie!

So, we traversed to her apartment and shared pumpkin pie…with real whipped cream…alongside some hot tea. It was a glorious way to share the evening before Thanksgiving. But even better than the pie and tea was the reconciliation in our friendship. We shared our memories regarding the catastrophes of the past year, which had been mutually tumultuous for both of us. And we were able to forgive and reconcile.

Shamefully, I am usually the second one in conversations to ask forgiveness. I don’t enjoy drawing out my anger and feelings of inadequacy, but somehow I’m used to them more than the words of, “We need to talk. Please forgive me.”

Stupid pride.

Then she asked how I was doing – okay. Life is going along, and as I’m aware of what is going wrong, I attempt to seek out the solution. I have a goal and while marriage is a desire, it’s not necessary.

I admitted that the last year was hard. As I had said to others before – those who had time, I didn’t trust. Those I trusted, didn’t have time. I was about ready to burst. I also shared how I was noticed there wasn’t anyone who knew me from a young age AND could see life from an Orthodox perspective. In essence, my life was fragmented and few, if any, have the whole picture. Those who I grew with spiritually in high school and college respect my decision to become Orthodox, but I can’t talk about it in depth with them. I get a lot of questions regarding the Eucharist and the Theotokos. Yet, those with whom I can talk theology and becoming more Orthodox, know only what I’ve told them.

Thus, my entire life needs to be reconciled. And even though I want a quick and easy answer to the, “How?” I think it will be the same way as with my friend – gradual, over time, and lots of whipped cream.

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