What Did I Get Roped into NOW!?!?!?!


Any of you out there who are currently not dating anyone – be thankful. Seriously. If you have no interest in a relationship, are not currently dating or are married/in a committed relationship – be very thankful.  Dating is stressful. There’s either “Oh dear God, who did I get set up with now?” or  “When is he going to ask me out? Seriously, can I be more available?” or “Wow, things are going well. Should I prepare for a disappointment soon?”

I’ve had a run of the former recently. Several times, I’ve just about cried over this. When I was getting ready for yet another first date last week (set up by my BOSS!!…the rest of that story later), I just grew tired of the game. The game of “when’s my turn” and “why can’t I be beautiful” suddenly turned into “Why me???” I dug myself out of the rut and went. It ranked in the middle of my dating experience – no “wow” factor but definitely not a complete bust.

I just returned from awkward date number 2. He brought me flowers (“Aw, shucks!!!” is what you’re thinking….me “OH CRAP!”) and took me to a nice restaurant followed by a movie. Had I not been set up by my boss, I probably wouldn’t have gone, however, I’d been encouraged to give him some time, let him warm-up a bit to actually having female company, et cetera, et cetera….

To be fair, here is what he did right over the past two weeks:

  1. He initiated contact
  2. We met at a public place for date number one
  3. He was himself and genuine
  4. He is considerate of others

On paper, the guy is great. He values family, hard worker, does what he loves (engineering and farming), and manages his money well. But I can assess those things in 5-10 minutes.

Here’s what hasn’t gone so well:

  1. While we have had one phone conversation, his main mode of contact is texting
  2. I’ve tried every possible conversation starter I know, and I get one sentence responses
  3. No sharing of ideas or interests…which I guess is hard when you have limited interests and no time to cultivate them.
  4. Anyone that knows me can attest to me saying that dinner and a movie is a cop-out for a date

I know my boss wasn’t setting us up just because both of us are single and in our late 20s/early 30s. And my boss did ask permission a few months ago to set me up, but I think both of us were under the impression that FarmerBoy would be able to talk about more than work. But as I was debriefing with my boss, I could honestly say that I tried everything I knew to get him to talk but he wasn’t going to open up…about anything. Seriously. Before the movie started, I sat down and was so frustrated with his lack of conversation that I said, “So…religion or politics?” To which he said, “Um, aren’t those the things you’re not supposed to talk about.” Me – “Well, we have to at some point.” Even then, I still did more of the talking.

As I told my boss, “In my defense, I dated an engineer in Kansas for 3 months, so it has nothing to do with a bias against his work.” That seemed to help.

As I’m still thinking about the events this weekend, I’m getting a bit angry. When did I become the nice girl to rescue non-conversing, socially awkward boys from their lives? When will the hoop-jumping of the stupid dating game end for me?

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sheila
    Feb 12, 2012 @ 13:09:11

    Oh, those engineering boys…I know all about that. My entire KSU career as one of the few females in the college of engineering did not produce a single date with one of them. There is a typical engineering personality and it sounds like he is just one of them. If you have the patience, he’ll eventually warm up. Trust me, he’s terrified of you. …And the dual farming profession??? LOL! Don’t get him around Jaris! You should know enough about farming to talk about that, right?

    Reply

    • TallRayofSunshine
      Feb 12, 2012 @ 14:03:48

      Sheila,
      Jaris has this guy beat in spades in EVERY area. Believe me, I did think of you and Jaris quite a bit during this two-week fiasco. I’ll mention this in a future post, but he has little to no interest in spiritual matters. I can’t be the type of wife who leaves my husband at home on Sunday morning and be solely in charge of their spiritual development.

      Reply

  2. Anna
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 10:43:27

    Hmm. Sounds like he has social anxiety disorder or some mild Aspergers. In any case, a fun date that does not make.

    And yes, dating is annoying, disheartening, disappointing 😦

    Reply

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