Round 3

Do you ever have recurring nightmares? Or déjà vu? Or the bad idea that you just have to try???

Well, I’m at it again for Round 3 … of online dating that is.

Round 1A was rather short lived. Round 1B also got nowhere. Round 2 (a birthday gift from my mother *cough*) resulted in meeting someone that I knew wouldn’t work while he thought everything was just peachy. Awkward.

So, we’re at Round 3.Why did I decide to give online dating another go around? Probably due to the following reasons/situations:

  • I have yet to master meeting a guy and getting him to think that a coffee date is okay. This is related to my next point…
  • Other people notice me and an Ortho-boy talking. They tell ME, not HIM, ME that we should try dating. Yeah, that’s going to work.
  • When it comes to agreeing on religious matters, Orthodox girls have a small pool from which to glean. And it gets smaller with every passing year.
  • Convert guys have pie-in-the-sky aspirations of meeting a “hot-ethnic-cradle” girl. Thanks. Just what I needed – a reminder that I’m a blonde, fair-skinned, pesky convert AND you’re not looking at how much I would value lasting things, like oh, catechizing our kids.
  • Cradle guys – while I haven’t had too much experience with them, it seems that most need to find a way to not be @$$-holes

Enough ranting on the guys…for now. Some lovely differences are present this time around as I approached publishing an online dating presence:

1. I’m no longer a single girl who is living on her own and looking for a relationship to enhance (read “save”) her (pitiful) life (from boredom/catastrophe).

When I first signed up for online dating 4 years ago, I had a lot of hopes and dreams (and fears) but not too much in the ways of concrete ideas on who I was and how I wanted to live my life. I was willing to drop everything and follow whatever life Mr. Seeking Woman had going. I would be the one who changed. No really, his career and satisfaction with life was WAY more important than mine, which was lost in the breeze. My life didn’t have much to offer. Yes, I had humor, personality, faith. But with no direction and a willingness to accept whatever was different than my current circumstance, there was no backbone.

Pitiful. (Of course, at the time, I didn’t see it that way. I guess that’s one benefit of getting older.)

What’s different now? I have nursing school to finish! And I know what I want to do after I’m done with nursing school. There is plenty for me to invest my time in if I’m not in a relationship. While the prospect of my next 2 years being owned by IUPUI isn’t incredibly charming, it does give me pause in any urgency that likes to creep in.

2. An email is just an email. Treat it like a coffee date.

This statement was put into use a few weeks into Round 3. If I got an email from a guy in Rounds 1 and 2, I had to thoroughly investigate his profile and figure out whether we would match or not. This time, when I hear from a guy, I treat it like the “coffee date” – i.e. I’m getting to know you more, but it’s non-committal. I don’t have to respond if he seems boring or “not my type.” And if he’s interesting, I reply.

The other aspect is that I’m not worrying when to offer more contact info to the guy. I’ll let him decide. I’m not aware of any rules that say after X-number of emails through the service, you should have exchanged real emails/phone number/Skype info. This doesn’t mean I don’t get impatient, nor wonder what is going through his mind. Yet, if I am open to being in a relationship, I guess I’ll be wondering what’s going through a man’s mind the rest of my life.

3. Online dating isn’t the “easy” way, but it is a good way to increase the number of people you meet and get your intentions out in the open.

Then again, you could be really open, like this guy:

hi how are you doing?
im ok i guess i was just looking around on here and saw your profile and i think your very beautiful and would like to get to know you better. their might be an age diff, between us but age is just a number i see alot of women on here who say they want a good and sweet guy but they dont want to talk so i thought you might be interested, im not rich or skinny but i know how to treat a woman , i was raised to treat women with respect and trust and love, i love to cuddle and am affectionate and like to show my girl off to everyone but the reason im single is all the girls i date want to cheat on me and use me and lie to me. im a country boy and love the outdoors like camping or fishing or hiking but i also like to sit alone with a girl and watch a movie. i want someone who wont break my heart agian i dont have kids right now but i do love kids. i do have my own place in the country and a truck and work as a mechanic. i like your pics, your very beautiful and would love to get to know you better you can text me if ya want.

Yeah. The above for all of you who say, “Online dating is EASY!!!”

I guess if saying, “HELL NO!” is easy, then sure. P.S. His photo was SCARY.

Of the guys I somewhat correspond with this summer, their opening lines have been:

  1. Hi, my name is _____. I liked reading your profile and I hope you like reading mine.
  2. SHERLOCK!!!!
  3. Hi, oh you are an orthodox Christian… cool. So how would that differ from Evangelical? I got converted [ed. note: to Christianity, not Orthodoxy] when I was 25… Anyways, what have you been up to?

So there you go. Let the fun begin.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Cathi Willms
    Jul 16, 2012 @ 18:10:24

    “Yet, if I am open to being in a relationship, I guess I’ll be wondering what’s going through a man’s mind the rest of my life.”
    >Or, maybe you will know what’s going through their mind and that’s just as dumbfounding!!

    >Uncle Ken caught Gail’s eye with the captivating line “So, have you ever been to Kansas?” Ya just never know!!



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