Bolt of Wisdom????


I had a study break/dinner/study date with a friend a few months ago. As usual, our conversation turned to relationships. We’re both in our early 30s, thus we have some recurring themes in our conversations:

  1. Lack of datable men in a 50-mile radius
  2. Our desire to share our lives with someone and have children
  3. Wondering what has hit the water in this town lately – seriously, most of our married mutual acquaintances are pregnant
  4. Realizing that this very moment in time is probably not the best to have a relationship begin
  5. Wondering how to go about meeting “viable options” in a “land of desolation”

At the end of our conversation, she relayed a chat she had with our Matushka (Ortho-lingo for “priest’s wife”). In that conversation, Matushka was noting that while single Orthodox men happen to have a high concentration at the three Orthodox seminaries, those places are great to find a husband but not necessarily your soul-mate.

I know what my Matushka was saying, and I agree with her. Yet, I don’t like what is implied in saying that I’m searching for my “soul-mate.” You can’t just look at someone, evaluate his (lasting) qualities, but then refuse developing a relationship because you two “aren’t soul-mates” or “don’t have that special soulful-spiritual bond.” What a freakin’ load of crap! If I’m not mistaken, a relationship takes work regardless of whether you feel that person is your soul-mate or not.

Thus after hearing about the lack of soul mate material at a seminary, I said, “Maybe the question should be ‘is this person good for my soul’ rather than ‘is this person my soul-mate’?”

Wait a second.

Did I just have a spark of genius?!?!?

I feel that I am now getting into unfamiliar and uncharted territory for my relationship wisdom. While I know what I am looking for in my future husband, I lack experience in the longevity department. Or the getting a date department. Or the connecting department for that matter. So, would my (limited) readership care to comment?

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