Take Notes on What NOT To Do


Knowing odds would be slim with the Ortho-folk, I also went to another website at the suggestion of a teaching colleague. I garnered a few more emails and interesting conversations, and this site also piqued my interest since it tries to match people in a closer radius than others. Having experienced the “find someone 1000 miles away” websites, especially when I first moved and didn’t know a lot of people in town, it is a bit weird to be on a website where you look at profile pictures and go, “I know him from _____. I don’t care if we’re a 90-ish per cent match, it ain’t gonna happen.”

A few weeks before my birthday (mid-July), I was contacted by a guy who seemed sweet and interesting enough, and we had a good banter over email. He suggested meeting in person, and I didn’t see any reason not to. So, a few days after my 30th birthday, it was arranged that we would meet for coffee after I was done teaching. (Points for initiating the meet and suggesting “safe” places: a park or coffee shop.)

First dates are a funny feeling, especially blind dates. Yeah, we had communicated, but I didn’t actually know this person.

Am I doing my hair and putting on make-up for the first time in 3 months for nothing?? Yay! Doubt!

I checked my email during an afternoon lesson no-show to confirm place and time. I have his number, he doesn’t have mine. You never know; it’s better to try than wonder.

So, I arrive at the coffee shop a bit early (things wrapped-up with teaching sooner than I anticipated). I began journaling, yet felt weird sitting at a table with no drink in front of me. I was being one of those coffee shop patrons. To ease my conscience, I decided on a small decaf drink; I keep writing. It is now 5 minutes after the time we set. Hmmm. At 10 minutes, I call a friend. Do I say he’s a no-show or text and give him a chance. She encourages me to text him and be nice, especially since he doesn’t have my number.

I act innocent: Hi, I just got here. Where are you at?

Short story: he spent the day working outside with his uncle and was tired. He had emailed me via the website, but it was after I checked my email. He didn’t want to stand me up, so he comes anyway. (Points for attempting contact. Loss of a few points for not scheduling his day better.)

35-40 minutes after the time we set, he walks in. It’s hard to know how to greet someone you met online – handshake? Hug? Wave and a smile?

I was sitting at a two-top. He doesn’t sit across from me – he chooses across from me and OVER one table. Diagonal? Really?? (Points lost). And from there the conversation drags, not because he’s tired – I could only wish. Nope, his lack of confidence as a person exudes over the place. (Points lost). He decides to get a drink and doesn’t even offer to get me a refill or ask if I want anything. (Points lost for lack of consideration.)

We take a walk and all he talks about is a life-changing experience he had in his post-college years. And he keeps trying to prove to me that he has friends (points lost) and assumes too much about me — He thought I must have been popular in middle school or high school. Wrong! WAAAAYYYYYY WRONG!

Thankfully, my gift of gab had kicked in, so I was able to keep conversation at an acceptable level, but as the night dragged on and on and on, it became painful to continue conversing. Seriously, a one-hour walk never felt so long!!

Finally, I had an excuse to exit – my contacts were drying up in my eyes and becoming more irritating with every minute. I was VERY careful with my words. I did not say anything that would have led him to believe I was having the best time of my life nor that I intended to see him in the future. I think I said something such as, “I need to wrap-up this conversation because my contacts are drying up, and I need to go home and take them out. Thanks for meeting up. Hope you get some rest after your long day.”

My FB status that night:

*face palm* Well, there went a perfectly good evening.

There was another fellow whom I had a few conversations with over Skype (he lives in California), but that fizzled for a variety of reasons. While he was nice, I’m not heartsick for it not working out.

And that, folks, is the end of Online Dating-Round 3. You’ll be the first to know if there is a Round 4.

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