One Day at a Time


I’m a new nurse.

I have to keep reminding myself of this. I’m new. I’m going to make mistakes.

Thankfully, none of my mistakes have resulted in adverse patient reactions. I haven’t overdosed anyone on their narcotic pain medication. If my assessment found an abnormality or something new, I reported it.

But I’ve been late on timed lab draws. I didn’t get a “Keep Vein Open” order with a patient controlled analgesia (PCA). I charted something on a patient, only to realize after signing that it was the wrong patient. And I’ve certainly handled a few interactions with less grace and clinical judgment than I would like.

I hate making mistakes; I hate knowing that I’ve failed or been under par. I worry that I will never get this nursing thing figured out. It’s these days that I cry.

But after a day or two off, I pull myself back together. Double check my care plan, make my list, and set out to improve one patient at a time.

And then I come home. And I’m new to marriage as well. We’re both new spouses. We’re going to make mistakes.

Some days, he’s helpful and a wonderful shoulder to cry on when work goes horribly wrong. Other days, he doesn’t see that I’m tired and asks for my help with tasks that, in my opinion, he should be able to figure out by himself so that I can sleep. There have been times where we are both oblivious to the ways we hurt each other. And then when the courage is mustered up to say, “____ really hurt,” it isn’t met with the response wanted but with more fuel for the fire.

Then the time comes where we say, “I’m sorry. Forgive me,” and keep working on this one day at a time.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Saint Lydia's Book Club
    Jan 26, 2015 @ 23:42:06

    The first year of marriage is a crazy thing. It’s been a while since I was there, but I don’t remember anyone talking about this. Everyone focuses on the wedding, and then they send you off into the rosy haze with the vague impression that the hard part is behind you. Of course your brain knows that isn’t true, but it’s still quite stunning to find out how quickly the rosy haze dissipates. It’s OK, friend. You can’t get to the real stuff until you get to the real stuff. Rosy haze isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You are doing what was meant to be done, one little step at a time.

    Reply

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