Yikes

I don’t even want to look at the date of my last post. Thankfully, Orthogals is still going strong, and strong enough that Ancient Faith Blogs picked us up! Woohoo!

Where have I been instead of online self-publishing? Well, you know about this:

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Which lead to this:

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And during that time I worked nights:

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Around the time I got to switch to days, we found out this was coming:

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Props to my 6-year-old niece for thinking of this all by herself!

And in late October, she came!

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Sigh. I hadn’t even finished changing my legal name on my accounts…

For the time being, I plan on keeping up TRS. I’m blogging about different things now, but then again, this wasn’t supposed to be a one subject blog. It’s my thoughts and ponderings on life, and those have changed a lot too.

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One Day at a Time

I’m a new nurse.

I have to keep reminding myself of this. I’m new. I’m going to make mistakes.

Thankfully, none of my mistakes have resulted in adverse patient reactions. I haven’t overdosed anyone on their narcotic pain medication. If my assessment found an abnormality or something new, I reported it.

But I’ve been late on timed lab draws. I didn’t get a “Keep Vein Open” order with a patient controlled analgesia (PCA). I charted something on a patient, only to realize after signing that it was the wrong patient. And I’ve certainly handled a few interactions with less grace and clinical judgment than I would like.

I hate making mistakes; I hate knowing that I’ve failed or been under par. I worry that I will never get this nursing thing figured out. It’s these days that I cry.

But after a day or two off, I pull myself back together. Double check my care plan, make my list, and set out to improve one patient at a time.

And then I come home. And I’m new to marriage as well. We’re both new spouses. We’re going to make mistakes.

Some days, he’s helpful and a wonderful shoulder to cry on when work goes horribly wrong. Other days, he doesn’t see that I’m tired and asks for my help with tasks that, in my opinion, he should be able to figure out by himself so that I can sleep. There have been times where we are both oblivious to the ways we hurt each other. And then when the courage is mustered up to say, “____ really hurt,” it isn’t met with the response wanted but with more fuel for the fire.

Then the time comes where we say, “I’m sorry. Forgive me,” and keep working on this one day at a time.

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